As a result of having Sadie in my life and losing her in such a tragic way, I was moved to start a ministry crocheting hats, prayer shawls, pocket prayer cloths, etc. to give freely to those fighting this terrible disease. Actually, I'm certain that God led me to this place. I chose the name Sadie Sunshine for my Chapter of Crochet for Cancer because of Sadie's happy life. The ministry came about as a result of her suffering and death, but the giving and daily administration of it is in memory of her life!
Through this ministry I have given myself the opportunity to talk about her every single day and tell people about what a sweet and beautiful child she was and how brave she was in her fight against cancer. I have pictures of her around the front counter in my business so people can see her and ask about the ministry and we can talk about her and her beautiful smile and dimples and eyes and how everyone couldn't help but smile when they were with her!
I have noticed how so many focus on the loss of a loved one, and let the memories and details of their wonderful life fade into the background as they talk about the illness and the pain they are feeling. I have done the same, and still do sometimes. It takes all of that to work through the heartbreak in our minds, and everyone works through the pain of loss in different ways. But I choose mostly to focus on her happy life and the beauty of this child and the joy she brought to our lives.
On Sadie's birthday, Amber came up with the idea of celebrating by doing random acts of kindness in her memory. We had little cards that we could give the person so that they could learn about Sadie and the good that has come from her short time here on earth. I have a stack of these cards here at my shop, and people ask about them, and after I explain, they want a few to take with them so that they can tell about Sadie and do something for someone in her name. Many of them come back with hats and prayer shawls and prayer cloths that they have crocheted for us to give.
In a very odd way, I can feel blessed by all of this. We have found a way to make her memory a happy one, and have found a way to help her short life still make a difference in so many lives in the future. Because she was here, we who knew and loved her are all changed, and many others even though they never even knew her are changed as well.
At Eli's school the other day the children were asked to talk about their brothers and sisters. Of course, Eli told them that his sister, Sadie, was in Heaven with God. But he went on to talk about her in the present tense and to tell them that she plays with him every day - she flies kites with him, has a meal with him, plays with his toys....of course, all this is in his mind because of his memories of her LIFE! Oh, the memories I get to share with those who will allow me to talk about her!
I talk about the wonderful weekend we had together when we thought she was healed and got to come home; I talk about the time just after she learned to walk and run when I was chasing her and she was laughing and looking back and Eli said "do me, too, Mammaw!"; I talk about the time before she learned to walk that she just walked out into the middle of our family room and then suddenly looked around and realized what she had done and plopped down and laughed; I talk about her dedication on Christmas Eve at our church and how she just happily observed everything that was going on; I talk about her butterfly barefoot sandals I made for her; I talk about how she looked at all of us with wonder thinking how crazy we were for sure; I talk about how she never took her eyes off of Eli and learned from him, and so many, many other happy times.
Today, a friend of the family who took care of Sadie at the daycare where she attended, went to Starbucks and gave the attendant at the window one of these cards to give to the car behind her and paid their bill in Sadie's memory. She was able to share the story of Sadie, and I'll bet in between the tears there were smiles talking about that sweet child.
There is so much good we can do in this world, just by sharing life with others, sharing hope and faith, and the belief that it'll all be ok eventually. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess you would say. I have a very powerful story to tell and a reason every day to get up and go out and try to bless some people. I have my Sadie memories....and I love to share them with you!
Each of us have a story to tell. Try to take a look at your life and find the LIFE and LOVE and JOY to share with others. Anybody can complain and cry and drag others down - but it is truly a gift from God to be able to live life in a positive light and share that light with others along the way. God bless all of you....every day is a gift....go out and live it!
Sadie Sunshine Chapter of Crochet for Cancer
Shine On Sadie Foundation
